How Evil are you.....

Wow, This site is really too fun for words (thx Kim)..... going to have to work on my evilness factor, though! :)

Wild waters

Well, it's officially storm season again...welcome to Florida, land of the necessarily-weather-obsessed. We've been lucky ever since we moved here...though we've faced tropical storm conditions occasionally, we've never dealt with a full-blown hurricane. And, if we have our way, we'll move before we ever have to!

Blogger has an interesting new feature in which you can create and share a searchable profile...I've just met a fellow writer, Kim from Texas, who not only shares my interest in bellydancing, but some of my other hobbies, favorite movies, and favorite authors as well. Great minds and all that. Isn't online networking an interesting thing?

The high price of driving

Wondering how gas prices are down here? This image from CNN pretty much says it all. While regular gas is not quite that bad in my area yet, I'm pretty sure the operative word there is...yet. I paid $2.04 per gallon last week, and they're still on the rise.

Just in time to catch all the holiday travellers, too. You think that's a coincidence?????

Worked both Saturday and Sunday this weekend...had Monday off but, as usual, it doesn't seem to be compensating very well. Especially considering the fact that I can't seem to convince myself to sleep at night no matter how tired I am. I'm telling you, the Everglades cannot come soon enough...

DeKlein in intelligence, fruitless torture, and the image question.

Yep, that's my premier. That too. What a guy, eh? (thx randy)

An interesting article on Slate this week about why using torture in interrogations is not only ethically wrong, but also hinders attempts to put terrorists behind bars.

I sent an email to the author of I am a librarian today. She is an MLIS student and photographer working on a book about "real librarians," and she's looking for people to interview and photograph. I wonder if Michael and I will end up inside it? Guess I'd better pack my bellydance stuff for ALA, just in case :)

Mistaken Identity

So here's my story.

When I moved to my current apartment three and a half years ago (OMG has it been that long?????), I got what was obviously a newly-recycled number. So I kept getting calls for Nadine Curcie. As in, two or three calls a day, minimum. While the situation got really annoying, really fast, especially when the person on the phone pleaded with her to "call back, even if this is the wrong number," it was nonetheless interesting to track the progression of these calls. First, it was:

• "This is ABC hospital calling for Nadine Curcie. Please call us regarding your appointment...."
• "This is XYZ Equipment Supply. Please call and let us know how your wheelchair is working out..."
• "I'm calling on behalf of 123 Doctor's Group. Call us right away...."

Then, we got,

• "This is BlahBlahBlah Credit. Please call us immediately regarding your account."

And, finally...

• "This is John Doe, investigator for the Law Offices of Generic, Hancock, and Everyman. I'm looking for Nadine Curcie. Please call me back so I don't have to call you again."

Though I guess I got a vicarious thrill out of watching these bumblers try to track down someone who'd obviously skipped the state (if not the country) to escape her medical bills, the fact that the majority of my calls and voicemail were for someone that I had never even met made me feel like I was being subject to SPAM at home as well as online. So for the better part of three years, everyone who called my house got this message:

Hello. You've reached Darcy Sharman at (my phone number). If you are calling for Nadine Curcie, please be aware that she is no longer at this number, and messages left for her here will not be returned. If you'd like to leave a message for Darcy, please do so at the sound of the tone. Thanks; bye.

I kept this message for so long because, amazingly, it worked. My SPAM calls decreased dramatically.

You know where this is going. Don't you. Yes, within the last couple of months, after some gentle ribbing from friends, I decided to finally banish Nadine's name from my voicemail domain. Guess who most of my phone calls have been for this week?

Give them points for perserverance, I suppose...

Thank you, Kraft, McDonald's and Pepsico. You've helped us create a brand new word for a brand new world: 'Globesity'. Though the other factoid I read on this topic today said that while a huge number of Americans are trying to lose weight at any given time, only something like one in five of them try anything as crazy as...eating less and exercising more.

Not that I'm saying this in a sanctimonious, superior-lifestyle kind of way. I have as much trouble changing my habits as anyone, and it's really only by the grace of genetics that I'm still shopping at Old Navy instead of Lane Bryant. It just strikes me as absurd that people are willing to try anything to lose weight, no matter how crackbrained, unhealthy, or dangerous, except for the one sensible plan. Reminds me of my ex-boyfriend, who regularly went to the bar for a dinner of supersized loaded nachos washed down with 5 or more beers but wouldn't drink milk because it had "too many carbohydrates." Or the article I read in a recent Marie Claire magazine, titled "I gained 40lbs to lose 100," where a young girl, who definitely did not fit the profile for bariatric surgery, describes the tremendous abuse she heaped on her body in order to get access to the procedure. This woman was literally willing to eat herself sick for months in order to get her "quick fix," even though she herself admitted that she had only recently gained weight and that the extra pounds were due to new eating habits spurred by stressful circumstances. Argh....

I'm not a size 4 anymore, but at least I have the brains to know that should I want to change that, eating less, eating better, and getting my ass of the couch is a better option than the latest quick-fix pill, fad diet, or other insanity.

A nice break from the usual Florida Swamp Pit Conditions this weekend...milder temperatures, drier conditions and a nice cool breeze made it feel almost like a nice Edmonton midsummer day. We actually got to spend time outside without feeling like we were going to die of heat exhaustion, which was refreshing on a mental as well as a physical level. I really hate being cooped up at work or at home all the time...makes me grumpy :(

Of course, the weekend went way too fast, so it's up and back to work today, with the depressing prospect of having to work all this weekend looming ahead. Things have calmed down a bit at work lately, but I still feel overhyped somehow, and my regular days off never seem to be enough to refresh or recharge. As a consequence I seem to be getting nothing done, whether on work or personal goals, and spend all my off time crashing on the couch with today's choice of trashy fiction. Which is okay for a while, but not really fulfilling in the long run. And the guilt about not working on my personal goals, not getting my housework done, not doing anything productive on any level just worsens the stressed-out feeling. Ack! I need something to break this cycle and fast! Before I manage to convince myself that I'm a totally lazy, good-for-nothing loser.

Sigh.

Well, welcome to America, the land of the free...unless, of course, you criticize the Bushes.

Whatever.

You know, I was in a really grumpy mood earlier today. The kind of funk where even though you know objectively that your life is not too bad, all things considered, you can't seem to remember one thing that would make the whole thing worthwhile. But Michael and I made reservations to spend Memorial Day weekend in a cottage at the Flamingo Lodge in Everglades National Park. So we can spend the weekend canoeing and hiking and swimming in the pool and doing yoga on the bay and birdwatching and generally hanging out. Ahhhhhhhhh....I feel less stressed just thinking about it. :)

Tech support seems to be having a little trouble clearing Sasser out of our systems. Our lab was shut down entirely last night and this morning; half our public computers were taken out of commission for fixing tonight. Our printing stations seem to have been hit the worst--I think they don't have as much protection. Most patrons have been understanding, thank goodness, though after 3 days of malfunction some are getting a little testy. The old if-we-knew-how-important-they-were-we'd-jump-up-and-perform-magic-so-the-machines-would-work-just-for-them bit. :(

Other than that, same old same old....

You know, I couldn't tell you why, but the fact that the Olsen twins are worth over $150 million dollars each and just got their own star on the walk of fame is unaccountably depressing to me ...

Or maybe I'm just depressed by the fact that I know that, regardless of whether I'm interested or not. My friend Randy had an article on his blog this week that talks about this phenomenon, among other things.

A really really fun weekend at work here, as our systems have all been infected with the Sasser worm. And of course, since our 40 lab terminals need a password after rebooting, we have been up and down all weekend. The information I've seen about it so far indicates that the thing is fairly benign, but I don't know why someone would go to the trouble of creating a worm that would do nothing but periodically reboot your computer, so I am half expecting the "true nature" of this thing to be revealed at a later date.

Other highlights of the week: I danced at the Sawadee on Friday and actually finally felt like I did a decent job. The place was packed, and actually a lot of people said that they came that night specifically because there was dancing, so I guess the idea is paying off for the owners. My biggest fan, little five-year-old Richard was back, giggling all the way through my performance as usual. He is so cute ...

Work has been relatively stressless this week--my boss is back, and the Micromanager was out of the building for the week doing interviews for our open positions. ahhhhh....

And, best of all, after an interminable Sunday at work, it is finally nearing closing time. So I get to go have dinner cooked for me at Michael's, and, if I am lucky, I may even convince him to go hang out at Starbucks afterwards. The rest of the day is definitely looking up!

Well, I'm back.

Back? What do you mean, 'back?' You haven't been anywhere...unless you've been in the wardrobe. Phew, Lucy the Human Mothball!

Sorry...momentary Junior High Flashback. Let's all here it for school productions that turn Lewis Carroll into contemporary musicals...

Tampa was great. As a matter of fact, it was so nice that I really wish I was still there, relaxing by the pool, instead of back at work. No hot tub, no massage therapist, and there was that pesky meeting I had to go to, but overall the socializing and the relaxation were well worth the drive. I even have some fun stories about the Neilson Media trainees that now have the privilege of saying they "partied with librarians and know what we're really like!"

heheheheheheheh. If only they knew....

Things are calming down at work a bit, at least in the last day or two. My boss is finally back, and will hopefully not need any more long absences. The deadline on our database evaluation project was extended, so I don't have to worry about not getting it done on time. Now I just need to find a couple hours for the schedule and the statistics, and we'll be all set.

No other news, really, except I think I made my best attempt at shoulderstand yet in class Monday night.

Ouch.

This week I am feeling the burn. Constant tension in my shoulders, neck and back, daily headaches, constant fatigue ... I think it is a very very good think that I will be away from work for the rest of the week. The trip to Tampa is work, technically, but the meeting has a reputation for not being anything strenuous, and since we have a couple of days in this resort as compensation I am thinking relaxation will finally be possible! The pool, the hotub, the spacious 2-bedroom suite with a bottle of wine in situ... I just can't wait. If I'm lucky they may even have a massage therapist on staff!

Entertaining article on msn today about Blender magazine's list of the worst songs ever written. Why I am I not surprised to see Jefferson Starship on this list? “The truly horrible sound of a band taking the corporate dollar while sneering at those who take the corporate dollar,” indeed. The sad thing is I actually liked this song when I was a kid.

hmmmm...maybe I shouldn't have admitted that....

Danced at the Thai place again last night. This time the people I invited actually came, so we had a decent crowd for once! As usual, I felt like I was doing a terrible job, but the people in the audience liked it so maybe I am just too hard on myself. I know, I know, it's so hard to have people telling you you're good all the time, right? But I am feeling a severe lack of constructive criticism lately. I see the gap between my skills and that of advanced students and professionals--which is totally appropriate given that I've been bellydancing for less than 2 years!--but I don't know how to bridge that gap on my own. I know I should practice more, but what with work and other life stress and my own inertia often by the time I get some free moments I'm too tired to even think of moving. Or my household chores are long overdue and it's a choice between dancing or having clean underwear to wear and clean dishes to cook in. Plus I'm afraid that if I just keep practicing with bad technique, I'll just get better at doing the moves badly. If that makes sense.

Anyway, self-criticism aside, we had a good time last night and ended up closing the place with a Karaoke party. Which actually, seems to happen a lot when I'm there. The staff found out I sing, and now every time I dance there they fire up the machine afterwards and bug me till I go up and sing a bit. Then I get someone up after me, and next thing you know it's 11pm. Not exactly what I expected from a bellydancing gig but I'm not complaining!

Stress at work continues to abound. We're all feeling the burden of being continually understaffed and being worried about my boss, who is still out sick and going for a heart catheterization test early next week. He may or may not end up having some form of surgery the same day, depending on what they find. So he may be back in a few days, or he may wake up to find he's had a heart procedure done and needs to take more time off to recover. Add a couple of other supervisors that are sticking their micromanaging fingers into every pot, and things are not fun. We have just about reached the breaking point here, I think, and the worst thing is that I don't know how to stop it. I've already talked to our uber-manager, but while that finally got some things across it seems to have made other things worse. The stupidest part of it all is that I've kept my boss informed of everything I've been doing, and he's approved of every single thing, to the point of thanking me for sending particular emails or saying things that need to be said. So it's not like I'm out in left field, making naive and idiotic decisions. But the message I'm getting from others here is "stay in your place...don't try to do things that are above you...you are not important enough to be consulted about things that concern your staff or your department." AUGH!

Sorry. Can't discuss this situation without deteriorating into a rant. Some days I just want to pack up and go hide in my parents' basement until I can find another job...

Moving on to other, less depressing topics:

Song number 4 is in the can. I haven't heard the finished version yet, as we just recorded the vocal tracks last Wednesday, but so far it's sounding pretty good, if I do say so myself. I've been listening to the other stuff, and watching how our style/sound as a group is evolving. In the beginning, the vocals I was doing were really more ornamental, or embellishments to the sound, than anything else. Probably because Rob and Bill were used to working mostly in instrumentals. But as we go along, the vocal tracks are becoming more integral to the music and we're developing a bit more of a signature sound. It's an interesting process to participate in, anyway.

I'm In the middle of planning a trip to Tampa for the Florida Library Association Leadership Orientation next week. This is the event that's supposed to actually teach me how to do my job as Continuing Education Committee chair. We'll see if it achieves that objective...right now all I can see is a cheap trip to a resort hotel away from work on County Time. Woo hooo!

Just when you think you've heard everything...along comes something like this.

This has been a crazy week. First there was the time change...losing an hour always throws me out of whack for a little while and really, who has an hour to lose these days anyway? My boss is still out sick, which means extra business at work. And I've been having other problems at work as well--nothing I can really talk about here but the situation is making it reeeaallly hard to come in every day and be civil to the people involved. What with one thing and another I'm feeling a bit worn down right now. I can hardly wait for the weekend!

Michael and I have finally got to watching the DVDs of The Prisoner we bought so long ago. Every time I watch that show it makes me feel like buying a striped umbrella and going to Portmeirion. I must admit that I briefly considered joining Six of One, but I've heard bad things about them lately...

Well, I decided I needed to actually choreograph the dance I'm doing for the University Centre recital this weekend at about 5:30 pm yesterday. Now I just hope I will remember the thing. I brought my choreo. notes to review today, but between having to compile the building statistics and being on the desk 4 hours I may not have much time to read them over. Wish me luck...

Fortunately, the performances tonight and tomorrow afternoon should mark at least a temporary end to the crazy extracurricular schedule. I've only got two restaurant performances this month, and after February and March I decided to scale back on things a bit to try to get more balance. But then don't I always say that?

I was in the studio last week cleaning up a few vocal tracks here and there ... an interesting insight into the process: there's one high passage in our third song that gets up close to the top of my range, and has a lot of difficult intervals, so we decided to redo it. Seventy-nine takes and two hundred and thirty-seven high b's later, we may have finally got one I can live with. Whew!

And hey, I finally figured out that my book and movie review pages weren't archiving. So all of you people who are not reading my reviews can ignore the backfiles, too ;)

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

O-kay, people!

< rant >

What part of the "Microsoft Office and Research only" and "no games allowed in the Lab" signs don't you understand??? You're using a computer, so I know you can read. Or did you blank out, selectively, on that skill?

Oh, and how about that cell phone? How many times have I and my staff told you, personally, that we don't allow cell phones in the lab? Did you think the rules changed today? Just for you?

WELL, YOU'RE WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!

Use this equipment for what it's meant for, or get the **** out. The library is not your personal video arcade. You do not have a constitutional right to view the Yahoo! personals or visit an AOL chat room. And while you are sitting there, taking up one of the few computers in our building that actually have more than general internet access, people who might actually be wanting to use the library for the purpose it was designed for are wandering around, futilely trying to find a machine to access the library catalogue from.

And you know, I hate being the Dragon Lady, or That Bitch Librarian Who Kicks Us Off The Computers, or whatever it is the charter high school kids are calling me now behind my back. I really don't want to develop such an adversarial relationship with these students, and/or convince them that the library is not a good place to be. But, you know, sometimes I want to call the parents of these "little darlings," the men and women that are so proud of their children, who studiously spend 3 hours at the library after school each day, and tell them what the little pissants are actually up to.

Hint: it's not schoolwork.

< /rant >

Hey, it's my birthday today!

Finally into a new week after an incredibly busy stretch. I worked all last weekend, then got on the road after work Monday to attend a conference Tuesday and Wednesday, back to work Thursday and Friday, plus performing at the Sawadee Friday and Saturday and trying to get into the studio earlier in the week. Whew! Of course, my one day off was spent housecleaning...but at least my apartment is now dirt-free!

Had an interesting time at the restaurant this Friday--there was a table made up of 2 young teenage boys (about 14) along with the mother of one of them, who had come specifically to see me. All righty. Let's just say the guys, um, really enjoyed my performance. It was pretty funny actually, what with all the comments and the shifting of chairs as I went by and the other antics. I was tempted to go up to them afterwards, and tell them I was old enough to be their mother and a librarian to boot, but I thought, nah, why bring cold hard reality crashing down on them? And they were nice enough to leave a tip, so...

Well, I finally finished Broward County's Positive Start Supervisory Development Series training. Let's see. In the past three months, I have learned:

• the four step communication process
• the six major communication components
• the eight steps of feedback planning
• the seven stages of staffing procedure
• the four steps of interview preparation
• the three-step change process
• the ten steps of delegating
• the three steps of performance planning
• the five-step ADA accomodation process
• the seven steps to creative problem solving
• the five step process for managing conflict constructively
• the five steps to progressive discipline
• the nine steps for avoiding litigation landmines
• the four-step civil service grievance process
• the three step motivation process
• the five steps of coaching
• the four stages of team development, and....
• the four strategies for building a work team

Gee, I wonder how I managed to live life all this time without knowing all these steps, stages, strategies, processes, and components. I feel so ... enlightened ...

Really, I can hardly stand it.

Scary news from a fellow TN-carrying coworker today--she heard a story about someone (out-of-county) who got denied a TN reapplication because an INS agent told him "he could not be on TN status with the same company for more than four years." Needless to say this is the first time I've heard of this so-called rule that I cannot find mention of in the NAFTA agreement or the U.S. government's web site. But, seeing as I am at the 3.5 year point with Broward County, with no immediate prospects lined up, I'm not to happy to hear about this situation/misinterpretation/whatever it may be. Of course, I expected many things to go differently when I came down, and I didn't really anticipate staying with this employer on this status for so long. But since my faith in my Division and the County to deal with this properly, or get the correct information, is extremely low to nonexistant, I'm not reassured.

Rob, Bill and I finished our second track, and are partway through our third. Which means Rob will be taking our stuff around to the label soon, seeing if they are interested. ack! Trying to let go of expectations, here, and accept that even if we do get signed immigration/work permit legalities may get in the way of me being associated with the final product. See above. Anyway, I'm pretty psyched about how good the music is sounding, and I'm really enjoying the recording process, so I'm doing my best to just stay in the moment and get everything from it that I can.

Michael and I are off to Daytona tonight for the Florida Library Association Annual conference. I had not planned on going, but it was decided that the committee I'm chairing should meet even though I don't get the leadership training that will give me the info I need to answer anyone's questions till April. Not that I am stressed about this ... oh no .... not that everyone on the committee has more experience and knowledge than me ... nope ...

Strange days....

There was an attack in Cameron Library at the U of A last week. I used to work in this building, and it's weird to think of something like a stabbing going on in a place I used to be in every day.

In addition, one of my coworkers here was assaulted, seemingly at random, and beaten so badly he needed stitches in his inner and outer lip. I think his face is still so swollen that they still don't know whether his nose was broken, and both his eyes are black. A more unlikely person for this to happen to you couldn't imagine--this guy is a thoughtful, gentle, considerate person who always is looking out for others. Yet someone felt the need to literally punch his face in.

Kind of depressing. Especially on top of the fact that all my friends seem to be going through emotionally difficult times, as well. Maybe it's something in the water?

Did my solo at our student performance party a little over a week ago. People I knew actually came this time, which was a change! I did a three part routine, starting with veil, then moving to a faster section, then a Saiidi section with a cane. My guests said that they thought it was really good, but I couldn't help but be disappointed. I still feel like I am flailing around throwing a bunch of random moves on top of the music, rather than using the dance to express the music. But I suppose that will come with time. I'm doing more gigs at the restaurant this month, and I said I would perform at the studio's biannual recital, too, so I have to try to come up with something for that. Somehow this seems to be taking over a large part of my life...but somehow I don't mind :)

You should look at this site. And this one. And this one too. They are all hilarious! (thanks to bhuz and randy)

Edited 22 March 2004 to update dead canada.com link...

Well, once again it's been a long time since I last posted. I'm still busy, obviously, at home and at work. My supervisor has been out sick for three weeks, so in the interim I am pretty much the acting department head. Which wouldn't be so hard, except that my supervisor has been pretty resistant to the idea of actually training me, his assistant supervisor, in any of the things he actually does. So, I've spent the time shepherding the lab through an equipment upgrade, writing evaluations, and frantically trying to figure out exactly how the Reference Department statistics that get reported to the State Library are calculated. Whew! I hear that once the guy actually gets back he's decided to let go of the need to do everything himself and start training and delegating. If he stays away much longer he won't need to because I'll have figured it out by trial and (much) error first!

In bellydance news, I found myself very glad that I had come across the costume I mentioned below last weekend, because I was offered an opportunity to do a gig at a restaurant on Saturday night! My teacher knows a local restaurant owner who used to take classes with her. The woman decided that she would like to give other students the chance to get some performing experience by inviting them to do shows at her restaurant. Needless to say I did not really feel like I was ready for this, but Myriam assured me that she was not expecting professional-quality dancing from us and that everything would be fine, so I went. I was pretty nervous the day before, but when we got there the place had slowed down for the evening and there were only 2 or 3 tables full besides Michael so I could kind of relax and try to enjoy myself. I did three sets of ten minutes each--which doesn't really sound so long until you get up there and try to do it and feel like you've run out of moves halfway!--with 2 costume changes. It probably wasn't the best dancing ever seen, but I had fun, the owner was happy, Michael said it was good, and apparently the customers said they enjoyed it too. I even ended up with a $5 tip in my gift basket. Neat!

Hopefully this will make the performance party solo tomorrow easier...though I'm still having visions of slipping up with the cane and accidentally throwing it at someone's head!

I have a rough cut of the instrumentals for the next song that my group is working on, but nothing finished as of yet.

So things are pretty good here. Which is good, because I'm happier, but not so good, because I'm busy enough to be distracted from the job hunting. It seems hard to find and maintain that equilibrium where you are at once actively seeking out things to make your life better where you are but still not losing focus on the eventual goal of leaving. And of course it seems like every time possibilities start popping up on the boards, opportunities/extra work/other distractions pop up here, too. I'm almost starting to wonder if there is not a message there, but I don't know for sure. And of course if I stayed here long enough the question would be moot, anyway, since sooner or later BCIS will decide my "temporary" status is not and kick me out.