Danced at the Thai place again last night. This time the people I invited actually came, so we had a decent crowd for once! As usual, I felt like I was doing a terrible job, but the people in the audience liked it so maybe I am just too hard on myself. I know, I know, it's so hard to have people telling you you're good all the time, right? But I am feeling a severe lack of constructive criticism lately. I see the gap between my skills and that of advanced students and professionals--which is totally appropriate given that I've been bellydancing for less than 2 years!--but I don't know how to bridge that gap on my own. I know I should practice more, but what with work and other life stress and my own inertia often by the time I get some free moments I'm too tired to even think of moving. Or my household chores are long overdue and it's a choice between dancing or having clean underwear to wear and clean dishes to cook in. Plus I'm afraid that if I just keep practicing with bad technique, I'll just get better at doing the moves badly. If that makes sense.

Anyway, self-criticism aside, we had a good time last night and ended up closing the place with a Karaoke party. Which actually, seems to happen a lot when I'm there. The staff found out I sing, and now every time I dance there they fire up the machine afterwards and bug me till I go up and sing a bit. Then I get someone up after me, and next thing you know it's 11pm. Not exactly what I expected from a bellydancing gig but I'm not complaining!

Stress at work continues to abound. We're all feeling the burden of being continually understaffed and being worried about my boss, who is still out sick and going for a heart catheterization test early next week. He may or may not end up having some form of surgery the same day, depending on what they find. So he may be back in a few days, or he may wake up to find he's had a heart procedure done and needs to take more time off to recover. Add a couple of other supervisors that are sticking their micromanaging fingers into every pot, and things are not fun. We have just about reached the breaking point here, I think, and the worst thing is that I don't know how to stop it. I've already talked to our uber-manager, but while that finally got some things across it seems to have made other things worse. The stupidest part of it all is that I've kept my boss informed of everything I've been doing, and he's approved of every single thing, to the point of thanking me for sending particular emails or saying things that need to be said. So it's not like I'm out in left field, making naive and idiotic decisions. But the message I'm getting from others here is "stay in your place...don't try to do things that are above you...you are not important enough to be consulted about things that concern your staff or your department." AUGH!

Sorry. Can't discuss this situation without deteriorating into a rant. Some days I just want to pack up and go hide in my parents' basement until I can find another job...

Moving on to other, less depressing topics:

Song number 4 is in the can. I haven't heard the finished version yet, as we just recorded the vocal tracks last Wednesday, but so far it's sounding pretty good, if I do say so myself. I've been listening to the other stuff, and watching how our style/sound as a group is evolving. In the beginning, the vocals I was doing were really more ornamental, or embellishments to the sound, than anything else. Probably because Rob and Bill were used to working mostly in instrumentals. But as we go along, the vocal tracks are becoming more integral to the music and we're developing a bit more of a signature sound. It's an interesting process to participate in, anyway.

I'm In the middle of planning a trip to Tampa for the Florida Library Association Leadership Orientation next week. This is the event that's supposed to actually teach me how to do my job as Continuing Education Committee chair. We'll see if it achieves that objective...right now all I can see is a cheap trip to a resort hotel away from work on County Time. Woo hooo!