Well, I feel like I totally blew my Sweeney Todd audition last night...as usual. As I mentioned before, auditions are never good for me. My voice never sounds right (even if it sounds okay, it never sounds right), and I get nervous so I always end up acting like a total idiot. Unfortunately, they've yet to create an audition process where you can explain that you perform well but always choke on the tryouts, so I guess I'm stuck.

Like the Broward on Broadway auditions, this group has you sing in front of every one else who's there to try out, plus they allow onlookers and people who are auditioning on other nights to attend. So on top of everything else you have an audience for your decent into hell. I sang second. I did...okay, and they asked me to stay back to sing some stuff from the show later. Then when they called me again, I swear the accompianist played the song twice as slow as he did for anyone else. I got off to a bad start, as far as tone quality goes, and didn't recover, and then was stupid enough to interrupt myself partway through because I thought I might have gone off key (I hadn't). When I asked if they wanted me to contine they of course said no. To complete my humiliation, someone literally half my age auditioned for the same role last night, and did an absolutely stunning job, so I got to see her perform perfectly (in the correct tempo) and hear the audition panel murmer things about how perfect she was.

Not that getting a part in this show is the be-all and end-all of my life right now. I went into it knowing that there was a good chance I would not get cast, and considering the stories I've heard about the politics of the group it was completely possible that either I would not get a part no matter how well I did, or that even if I did the experience would not be as positive as the one I had with Forum. I just wish that I'd done well so that I could have been proud of my performance and that, one way or the other, they were evaluating me on what I really could do. As it is I feel like I came across as hopelessly amateur.

Oh well. Boring self-castigation over.

Here's along, but interesting article on the image of librarians.